I think the simplest description is just that my depression is acting up again. There isn’t really a good explanation for why it’s hitting me now. Sometimes it just takes over despite my best efforts. It feels like I’m in deep water, and I’m kicking hard to get above the surface of the water, but I never quite reach it.
Gabrielle, I am sorry to hear that you are experiencing a depressive episode. And I hope that you are on the other side of it soon. I too experience bouts of depression (and mild hypomania) and am on Lexapro. After many years of therapy, I was able to experience the cycle without thinking I would be stuck in eternal depression each time it hit. Please take all the time you need to heal. Ruth
No fun! My daughter recently tried a new class of anti-depressants that's been successful after years on wellbutrin, have you considered switching medications? Trintellix is the name of what she's been trying
Peri-menopausal depression is a thing. I have been experiencing it myself. Before changing any medications, I would suggest tracking if the depression is happening at a certain time of the month.
I care that you are not doing as well as you’d like to be. I think you have caught onto a great “secret”: everything is temporary. You seem to have embraced NATO-no attachment to outcome. This episode is here, and as I once read, best to accept that it insists on accompanying you on your journey but ensure it knows that it cannot drive nor even touch the radio. It can just be, and you can accept it (as you have). You may even name it, the way my mother’s generation named their period “Aunt Flo”
I hope this guest does not overstay their visit.
And thank you. I’m grateful for your vulnerability as much as for your courage to write about all of the topics you do.
My goodness, Gabrielle, your honesty and vulnerability are a gift to we readers. My heart aches for you but I can't help but hope that you will be sustained by everyone's gifts to you -- prayers, love, care, concern, encouragement, empathy, understanding, acceptance. I know there's no reasoning with depression, no deal-making that will cure, so I just ask that you take one more day to heart and look back at the long road you've come -- and know you have joy on the road to come. Blessings on you, with love.
I'm sorry you're going through a tough part of the cycle. Thank you for showing your vulnerability. My teen daughter has recently been diagnosed with depression and anxiety, and I've been trying to come to terms with this - not in a judgmental way, but in parenting and feeling like I've missed those signs and could've helped her sooner. We're just starting our healing journey and knowing that many people find many ways to cope and manage is really heartening.
Thank you for this. My love has depression and also takes Wellbutrin everyday and I struggle knowing that he struggles. This is all new to me so I appreciate your candidness, it helps me to better understand what people go through and makes me want to be better.
Have you considered adding a med? This has worked well for my husband, who also doesn’t remember quite a few conversations and events.
Another thought, your hormones have a lot to do with how you are feeling. Both my sister and I have added replacement hormones and it’s helped a lot. Current studies show that hormone replacement therapy is very safe and actually protective for your heart. I was told the estrogen patch and a progesterone pill are the safest. I’ve felt like half of myself through peri, and unmotivated and this has helped me. Wishing you brighter days ahead. Just to add, it makes me frustrated that half of the population will go through menopause and most physicians do not know how to treat it and are still following a flawed studies that incorrectly stated that hormones were bad. We’re replacing what we already had, it’s a good thing.
G, I hope so much this bout is on the fade out. Much love for your effort and good work, both the seen and unseen kind.
I wanted to comment on the way mothers are talked about or portrayed. I think young mothers is a different portrayal/vibe than older mothers—mothers-in-law, grandmothers, moms of adult kids.
When my oldest was headed toward adulthood and I started to identify more with the older moms, I realized what a raw end of the deal is aging motherhood. Our kids who we’ve sacrificed body and soul to protect and grow their bodies and souls, now find our interest in their welfare annoying or at best cute like a *pat*pat* on the head.
I started realizing that the creators of so much culture content were young or men and had very little understanding what’s it’s like to be asked to move on from such an intense, crucial life’s work. A lot of thoughtless cultural commentary is on how unattractive our old bodies are or how annoying that mom has called again to see how things are going. It’s incredibly sad.
I think a HUGE amount of applause goes to all the aging moms who have for generations transitioned gracefully from being life-necessary to “thanks but no thanks” and haven’t put up such a stink as I feel like making about being relegated to the back.
I’m so sorry you’re in a low place right now. Thank you as always for your honesty about your depression. I’m there with you, this time thinking a lot about the book Wintering and the idea of seasons and maybe needing to lie fallow for a bit myself.
Openness and knowledge about mental health struggles is one area I think life is better for my college-age kids than it was for me at their age—and that’s in part because of countless people, including you, sharing their own individual stories. Wishing you rest and healing as we move into summer, Gabrielle!
Gabrielle, I am sorry to hear that you are experiencing a depressive episode. And I hope that you are on the other side of it soon. I too experience bouts of depression (and mild hypomania) and am on Lexapro. After many years of therapy, I was able to experience the cycle without thinking I would be stuck in eternal depression each time it hit. Please take all the time you need to heal. Ruth
No fun! My daughter recently tried a new class of anti-depressants that's been successful after years on wellbutrin, have you considered switching medications? Trintellix is the name of what she's been trying
Peri-menopausal depression is a thing. I have been experiencing it myself. Before changing any medications, I would suggest tracking if the depression is happening at a certain time of the month.
SO sorry. I feel like Wellbutrin isn't really working for me anymore. I'm exploring other options.
Thank you for your honesty and transparency about your own mental health. You're an amazing human, you are valuable, you are loved, you are enough.
I care that you are not doing as well as you’d like to be. I think you have caught onto a great “secret”: everything is temporary. You seem to have embraced NATO-no attachment to outcome. This episode is here, and as I once read, best to accept that it insists on accompanying you on your journey but ensure it knows that it cannot drive nor even touch the radio. It can just be, and you can accept it (as you have). You may even name it, the way my mother’s generation named their period “Aunt Flo”
I hope this guest does not overstay their visit.
And thank you. I’m grateful for your vulnerability as much as for your courage to write about all of the topics you do.
Thank you for writing this. Sending you love and strength.
My goodness, Gabrielle, your honesty and vulnerability are a gift to we readers. My heart aches for you but I can't help but hope that you will be sustained by everyone's gifts to you -- prayers, love, care, concern, encouragement, empathy, understanding, acceptance. I know there's no reasoning with depression, no deal-making that will cure, so I just ask that you take one more day to heart and look back at the long road you've come -- and know you have joy on the road to come. Blessings on you, with love.
P.S. The newsletter was great; so much sweetness and so much provocation, as usual :)
I'm sorry you're going through a tough part of the cycle. Thank you for showing your vulnerability. My teen daughter has recently been diagnosed with depression and anxiety, and I've been trying to come to terms with this - not in a judgmental way, but in parenting and feeling like I've missed those signs and could've helped her sooner. We're just starting our healing journey and knowing that many people find many ways to cope and manage is really heartening.
Thank you for your sheer honesty about all the things. Makes being human a beautifully palpable (although somewhat messy) endeavor. I appreciate you☀️
Thank you for this. My love has depression and also takes Wellbutrin everyday and I struggle knowing that he struggles. This is all new to me so I appreciate your candidness, it helps me to better understand what people go through and makes me want to be better.
Its like you are me..!
Have you considered adding a med? This has worked well for my husband, who also doesn’t remember quite a few conversations and events.
Another thought, your hormones have a lot to do with how you are feeling. Both my sister and I have added replacement hormones and it’s helped a lot. Current studies show that hormone replacement therapy is very safe and actually protective for your heart. I was told the estrogen patch and a progesterone pill are the safest. I’ve felt like half of myself through peri, and unmotivated and this has helped me. Wishing you brighter days ahead. Just to add, it makes me frustrated that half of the population will go through menopause and most physicians do not know how to treat it and are still following a flawed studies that incorrectly stated that hormones were bad. We’re replacing what we already had, it’s a good thing.
G, I hope so much this bout is on the fade out. Much love for your effort and good work, both the seen and unseen kind.
I wanted to comment on the way mothers are talked about or portrayed. I think young mothers is a different portrayal/vibe than older mothers—mothers-in-law, grandmothers, moms of adult kids.
When my oldest was headed toward adulthood and I started to identify more with the older moms, I realized what a raw end of the deal is aging motherhood. Our kids who we’ve sacrificed body and soul to protect and grow their bodies and souls, now find our interest in their welfare annoying or at best cute like a *pat*pat* on the head.
I started realizing that the creators of so much culture content were young or men and had very little understanding what’s it’s like to be asked to move on from such an intense, crucial life’s work. A lot of thoughtless cultural commentary is on how unattractive our old bodies are or how annoying that mom has called again to see how things are going. It’s incredibly sad.
I think a HUGE amount of applause goes to all the aging moms who have for generations transitioned gracefully from being life-necessary to “thanks but no thanks” and haven’t put up such a stink as I feel like making about being relegated to the back.
I’m so sorry you’re in a low place right now. Thank you as always for your honesty about your depression. I’m there with you, this time thinking a lot about the book Wintering and the idea of seasons and maybe needing to lie fallow for a bit myself.
Openness and knowledge about mental health struggles is one area I think life is better for my college-age kids than it was for me at their age—and that’s in part because of countless people, including you, sharing their own individual stories. Wishing you rest and healing as we move into summer, Gabrielle!