when trump won i felt deep exhaustion. like i have nothing to give. disaster upon disaster and no end in sight. so much suffering and instability. i don’t want a pep talk nor do i feel the need to “do the work.” i’m too tired for that. i decided i’m only giving 2% effort and energy in 2025. and for the love of sanity no one tell me to “stay safe” i will lose it.
Exactly. My feelings are the same. I feel numb and quiet right now. I don’t /can’t even see anything that’s happening right now. I just want some peace for me and everyone. I’m taking care of myself right now and trying to help others as I can. I’m so burned out. I lived in the areas affected by the fires and I have friends and memories there. Life is Brutiful. Brutal + Beautiful =Brutiful. Thank you for writing this.
I'm coping in a similar way to how I did after September 11th because this feels similar to the early 2000s, though much more dangerous to our democracy. Back then, I kept my sanity by reading progressive bloggers. Now I'm listening to Never-Trumper and progressive podcasts to know I'm not alone. I also find peace with my family and social friends, who mostly aren't political. I'm not leaving Facebook, but am encouraging all of my friends to join me on Bluesky so we have a safe place to gather. Hang in there, everybody.
Hi -- I know we're not alone about this administration coming, but they seem to have the power and I'm fearful that we will be crushed. It feels weird to be so dominated by an unjust power -- but I'm thinking maybe some of us will finally know what oppressed peoples have lived for so long :(
Interesting that Florida and Texas seem to have no problem taking federal funding for their increasingly frequent natural disasters, while not paying income taxes I'd add, but California is 'getting what they deserve'. Like you said, the level of mental and emotional sickness and heartlessness on the right is frankly deeply scary and very, very sad. They've ushered in the era of the Immoral Majority and the rest of us are hostages. Uff
Agree. To be so self-righteous and unsympathetic is really hard to take. I don't recall hating on North Carolina when it was destroyed by the hurricane. I don't recall any hate spewing their way. So demoralizing.
I agree, I feel numb. I keep waiting for something to happen to change these tides again because we cannot keep living this reality of greed. Feedly replaced my google reader for blog organizing. I’m trying to get into blue sky. I hear Neptune is an up and coming app to look out for. And I am so disgusted by instagram. Once my favorite platform, since I love sharing photos, this is the first time I feel my days left on there are numbered. The TikTok situation has left me truly despondent. I love connecting with people there.
I second Feedly as a place to follow blogs and have them all in one place. I have used it for many years. Sometimes I have to click through to go to the site to read the full post but that's fine - I just like having one place where I can see when a blog has a new post up.
I once devoured news, engaging with many sources every day. I was never a social media user but have been an avid follower of Design Mom in all its iterations since about 2008, when the NY Times had an article about Stephanie Nielson's plane crash that mentioned your blog. I joined Instagram when you moved to the platform. The same with Threads - only learned about it and created an account because your Thread feeds where coming up in my Instagram feeds.
Once I realized Trump had a good chance of winning the last election I stepped back from many news sources. After October 7, 2023 I stopped watching TV news. Today, I simply look at the headlines of 2 daily newspapers and carefully choose which articles I want to absorb. After a few weeks on Threads I deleted my account. I was instantly shocked and sadden by the lies, and cruelty that poured from its posts. There was even a moment that I thought of disengaging from Design Mom because of some of the things that you posted or reposted on Threads - especially about the murder of Brian Thompson. In the end, I reasoned that since I thoroughly enjoy following all manner of Design Mom topics and agree with and applaud your posts the great majority of the time that I would simply turn away from those rare instances when I had a problem with a particular point of view.
I am aware that it is a luxury to be able to cocoon myself in this way from the world around me. As a 68 year old retired woman I am in the privileged position of turning away from those things in the greater world that cause me to lose my center of gravity.
It interesting for me to sit with and process how I feel. I no longer live in the US myself, so a lot of my stress has changed. And being on the outside of the direct assault and surrounded by varying viewpoints has me contemplating many different and new things.
Prior to having my first child in 2013 I had always been on top of news. I felt I could be part of the change I wanted to see. Also I had studied business and law, and it was a part of the culture to be “in the know.” Of course that was back in 2005-2010 when news websites still dominated the way we got our information.
After having children I felt so overwhelmed by the news. It has made me so much more depressed and anxious. With the dopamine hits these websites produce and the self discipline it takes to not pick up my phone when I’m board, well that has felt like a whole other problem on top of the news itself.
With the inundation after Trump and the lack of accountability growing, it really is an assault of distressing information that I feel I have very little control over. I don’t have the hours or energy to keep up with it. The week of the election I decided to start volunteering in my new city. It was such a relief to be in person with people. I honestly hadn’t realized how much I needed the in person activity. I’m trying to keep it up. I’m also trying to be present without discussing news, with family, friends, and neighbors.
That all said, I feel a reversal in tech happening in my life. I don’t think I’m the only one. With the likes of these companies showing their true colors, or just aligning themselves to make more money, I plan to slowly remove myself from all of them this month. I’m trying to truly assess how much I have inadvertently outsourced. Example, without Facebook making it easy to “connect” which of those people would I actually want/like/need to keep in touch with. They suggest human capacity is really only about 150 people. I’m well over that in terms of family, friends, coworkers, acquaintance, etc. I’m switching to feedly, it’s like the google reader of past. There are others, but this one has a phone app and is simple enough to use. It’s been around a while. I have your blog added. ;)
Whatever people do, I think the reality is that many of us just need to “put our oxygen masks on first.” Whatever is coming we need to make sure when it actually arrives at our doorstep that we are able to act and help ourselves and our community.
Your words articulate so well how I have been feeling, especially getting quiet and the hopeless feeling of what to do next mixed with having events and moments to look forward to (ya ALT 🎉).
Post election, I’ve been intentionally avoiding a lot of the news because it is out of my control. I also thought that I should to enjoy the time between the election & inauguration as much as possible because it’s likely to be the least chaotic in the next 4+ years. In November & December I intentionally practiced feeling present, connected, cozy and sparkly (thank you everything Taylor Swift). It was lovely, but also felt like I was writing a scene from Inside Out 2 with Nostalgia, Anxiety & Guilt being sent downstairs - “it’s not time for you yet” was my motto.
With the new year I want to bring that practice of presence & connection with me but also practice noting those feelings through writting & creating. I have been growing my business online, mainly on IG. But I see it shifting - more in person, smaller groups/audiences, private online communities like Circle - so there can be honesty amongst people who are like hearted, kinder & less judgmental. I want to feel lighter & protect my light and I think this will be the path towards that for me.
Echoing Morgan. I don't feel more necessarily more hopeful after reading Gabrielle's post, but I feel less alone, and more focused. Thank you Gabrielle. And Morgan, I'm with you : protect that light, foster connection, keep writing. ❤️
I quit both Facebook and Instagram in the past 2 1/2 years. I don’t have a business, so haven’t thought of how leaving Instagram would affect people like you…
If I were you, I’d immediately look into how to remove your house-remodel stories from Instagram. They are a treasure not only to your family, but your readers. I would be beyond thrilled if I could watch them again without going to meta!
There must be a way for people to continue to do business online…some bright young woman and her friends will no doubt lead the way! Talk about it at your upcoming convention, the name slips my mind🤔
I left Instagram and Threads because I'm sick of billionaires in my life and also I was spending way too much time endlessly scrolling. I do miss the Design Mom videos, especially the ones about the renovations. I left Facebook and Twitter years ago (when it was still Twitter). I do like Bluesky, I wish you would post more there. I don't post myself but I read everyone that I used to read on Twitter. I wish blogs would come back, I loved those. Maybe someday I'll go back to Instagram, but I need this break.
I can see the Substack feed replacing Google reader. I use it in a similar way.
I deleted Threads as I feel it just collates the minute awful news stories every day while we are also being flooded with the big awful news from everywhere else. (I can’t deal with NC Supreme Court issues when the world is burning.) My heart really just can’t take it another 4 years again.
I’m currently torn as whether or not to stay on IG. It’s where I get so much joy from home accounts I’ve loved for a decade, learn about injustices and how to activate to help (like calling senators about specific bills), and the only place I share personal photos any longer. But after this week, I truly deplore the idea of supporting another man baby. I guess I’m weighing the idea of losing even more connections by deleting the app. After C-19 and the friends I lost to the MAGA cult, I don’t have many places of solidarity left.
Feeling pretty freakin’ depressed about it all and trying to protect the little bit of sanity I have left to find the energy to fight for a better word for my kids.
I agree with what you wrote here. I’m shocked at what Threads offers me to read—basically little fights everywhere! Fights in the airport, snarky comments in a Starbucks line, etc. No thank you to that algorithm! I’m very tempted to leave instagram because Meta and Zuckerberg are disgusting, but I would “miss” the older bloggers and newer connections I’ve made there. I wish there was a decent alternative!
This perfectly sums up what I’ve been thinking lately. What my next moves for social are, I don’t quite know yet, other than it can’t just stay the same. I just can’t anymore. Despite all the great connections.
when trump won i felt deep exhaustion. like i have nothing to give. disaster upon disaster and no end in sight. so much suffering and instability. i don’t want a pep talk nor do i feel the need to “do the work.” i’m too tired for that. i decided i’m only giving 2% effort and energy in 2025. and for the love of sanity no one tell me to “stay safe” i will lose it.
Exactly. My feelings are the same. I feel numb and quiet right now. I don’t /can’t even see anything that’s happening right now. I just want some peace for me and everyone. I’m taking care of myself right now and trying to help others as I can. I’m so burned out. I lived in the areas affected by the fires and I have friends and memories there. Life is Brutiful. Brutal + Beautiful =Brutiful. Thank you for writing this.
I'm coping in a similar way to how I did after September 11th because this feels similar to the early 2000s, though much more dangerous to our democracy. Back then, I kept my sanity by reading progressive bloggers. Now I'm listening to Never-Trumper and progressive podcasts to know I'm not alone. I also find peace with my family and social friends, who mostly aren't political. I'm not leaving Facebook, but am encouraging all of my friends to join me on Bluesky so we have a safe place to gather. Hang in there, everybody.
Hi -- I know we're not alone about this administration coming, but they seem to have the power and I'm fearful that we will be crushed. It feels weird to be so dominated by an unjust power -- but I'm thinking maybe some of us will finally know what oppressed peoples have lived for so long :(
Interesting that Florida and Texas seem to have no problem taking federal funding for their increasingly frequent natural disasters, while not paying income taxes I'd add, but California is 'getting what they deserve'. Like you said, the level of mental and emotional sickness and heartlessness on the right is frankly deeply scary and very, very sad. They've ushered in the era of the Immoral Majority and the rest of us are hostages. Uff
Agree. To be so self-righteous and unsympathetic is really hard to take. I don't recall hating on North Carolina when it was destroyed by the hurricane. I don't recall any hate spewing their way. So demoralizing.
I agree, I feel numb. I keep waiting for something to happen to change these tides again because we cannot keep living this reality of greed. Feedly replaced my google reader for blog organizing. I’m trying to get into blue sky. I hear Neptune is an up and coming app to look out for. And I am so disgusted by instagram. Once my favorite platform, since I love sharing photos, this is the first time I feel my days left on there are numbered. The TikTok situation has left me truly despondent. I love connecting with people there.
I second Feedly as a place to follow blogs and have them all in one place. I have used it for many years. Sometimes I have to click through to go to the site to read the full post but that's fine - I just like having one place where I can see when a blog has a new post up.
I once devoured news, engaging with many sources every day. I was never a social media user but have been an avid follower of Design Mom in all its iterations since about 2008, when the NY Times had an article about Stephanie Nielson's plane crash that mentioned your blog. I joined Instagram when you moved to the platform. The same with Threads - only learned about it and created an account because your Thread feeds where coming up in my Instagram feeds.
Once I realized Trump had a good chance of winning the last election I stepped back from many news sources. After October 7, 2023 I stopped watching TV news. Today, I simply look at the headlines of 2 daily newspapers and carefully choose which articles I want to absorb. After a few weeks on Threads I deleted my account. I was instantly shocked and sadden by the lies, and cruelty that poured from its posts. There was even a moment that I thought of disengaging from Design Mom because of some of the things that you posted or reposted on Threads - especially about the murder of Brian Thompson. In the end, I reasoned that since I thoroughly enjoy following all manner of Design Mom topics and agree with and applaud your posts the great majority of the time that I would simply turn away from those rare instances when I had a problem with a particular point of view.
I am aware that it is a luxury to be able to cocoon myself in this way from the world around me. As a 68 year old retired woman I am in the privileged position of turning away from those things in the greater world that cause me to lose my center of gravity.
It interesting for me to sit with and process how I feel. I no longer live in the US myself, so a lot of my stress has changed. And being on the outside of the direct assault and surrounded by varying viewpoints has me contemplating many different and new things.
Prior to having my first child in 2013 I had always been on top of news. I felt I could be part of the change I wanted to see. Also I had studied business and law, and it was a part of the culture to be “in the know.” Of course that was back in 2005-2010 when news websites still dominated the way we got our information.
After having children I felt so overwhelmed by the news. It has made me so much more depressed and anxious. With the dopamine hits these websites produce and the self discipline it takes to not pick up my phone when I’m board, well that has felt like a whole other problem on top of the news itself.
With the inundation after Trump and the lack of accountability growing, it really is an assault of distressing information that I feel I have very little control over. I don’t have the hours or energy to keep up with it. The week of the election I decided to start volunteering in my new city. It was such a relief to be in person with people. I honestly hadn’t realized how much I needed the in person activity. I’m trying to keep it up. I’m also trying to be present without discussing news, with family, friends, and neighbors.
That all said, I feel a reversal in tech happening in my life. I don’t think I’m the only one. With the likes of these companies showing their true colors, or just aligning themselves to make more money, I plan to slowly remove myself from all of them this month. I’m trying to truly assess how much I have inadvertently outsourced. Example, without Facebook making it easy to “connect” which of those people would I actually want/like/need to keep in touch with. They suggest human capacity is really only about 150 people. I’m well over that in terms of family, friends, coworkers, acquaintance, etc. I’m switching to feedly, it’s like the google reader of past. There are others, but this one has a phone app and is simple enough to use. It’s been around a while. I have your blog added. ;)
Whatever people do, I think the reality is that many of us just need to “put our oxygen masks on first.” Whatever is coming we need to make sure when it actually arrives at our doorstep that we are able to act and help ourselves and our community.
Your words articulate so well how I have been feeling, especially getting quiet and the hopeless feeling of what to do next mixed with having events and moments to look forward to (ya ALT 🎉).
Post election, I’ve been intentionally avoiding a lot of the news because it is out of my control. I also thought that I should to enjoy the time between the election & inauguration as much as possible because it’s likely to be the least chaotic in the next 4+ years. In November & December I intentionally practiced feeling present, connected, cozy and sparkly (thank you everything Taylor Swift). It was lovely, but also felt like I was writing a scene from Inside Out 2 with Nostalgia, Anxiety & Guilt being sent downstairs - “it’s not time for you yet” was my motto.
With the new year I want to bring that practice of presence & connection with me but also practice noting those feelings through writting & creating. I have been growing my business online, mainly on IG. But I see it shifting - more in person, smaller groups/audiences, private online communities like Circle - so there can be honesty amongst people who are like hearted, kinder & less judgmental. I want to feel lighter & protect my light and I think this will be the path towards that for me.
Echoing Morgan. I don't feel more necessarily more hopeful after reading Gabrielle's post, but I feel less alone, and more focused. Thank you Gabrielle. And Morgan, I'm with you : protect that light, foster connection, keep writing. ❤️
Yes, please continue to write! I greatly benefit from your posts. They are always thought provoking and exactly how I feel each and every time.
Thank you, thank you.
I quit both Facebook and Instagram in the past 2 1/2 years. I don’t have a business, so haven’t thought of how leaving Instagram would affect people like you…
If I were you, I’d immediately look into how to remove your house-remodel stories from Instagram. They are a treasure not only to your family, but your readers. I would be beyond thrilled if I could watch them again without going to meta!
There must be a way for people to continue to do business online…some bright young woman and her friends will no doubt lead the way! Talk about it at your upcoming convention, the name slips my mind🤔
Agree! I hear YouTube just updated their shorts to three minutes! An option maybe?
Thank you! I enjoyed this blog very much.
I left Instagram and Threads because I'm sick of billionaires in my life and also I was spending way too much time endlessly scrolling. I do miss the Design Mom videos, especially the ones about the renovations. I left Facebook and Twitter years ago (when it was still Twitter). I do like Bluesky, I wish you would post more there. I don't post myself but I read everyone that I used to read on Twitter. I wish blogs would come back, I loved those. Maybe someday I'll go back to Instagram, but I need this break.
Yes! I have been desperate for a google reader since it died 😢
I can see the Substack feed replacing Google reader. I use it in a similar way.
I deleted Threads as I feel it just collates the minute awful news stories every day while we are also being flooded with the big awful news from everywhere else. (I can’t deal with NC Supreme Court issues when the world is burning.) My heart really just can’t take it another 4 years again.
I’m currently torn as whether or not to stay on IG. It’s where I get so much joy from home accounts I’ve loved for a decade, learn about injustices and how to activate to help (like calling senators about specific bills), and the only place I share personal photos any longer. But after this week, I truly deplore the idea of supporting another man baby. I guess I’m weighing the idea of losing even more connections by deleting the app. After C-19 and the friends I lost to the MAGA cult, I don’t have many places of solidarity left.
Feeling pretty freakin’ depressed about it all and trying to protect the little bit of sanity I have left to find the energy to fight for a better word for my kids.
I agree with what you wrote here. I’m shocked at what Threads offers me to read—basically little fights everywhere! Fights in the airport, snarky comments in a Starbucks line, etc. No thank you to that algorithm! I’m very tempted to leave instagram because Meta and Zuckerberg are disgusting, but I would “miss” the older bloggers and newer connections I’ve made there. I wish there was a decent alternative!
Could we please bring blogs back? It was such a great time. I had a list of everything I checked daily in my browser and it was wonderful.
This perfectly sums up what I’ve been thinking lately. What my next moves for social are, I don’t quite know yet, other than it can’t just stay the same. I just can’t anymore. Despite all the great connections.