Do You Have Strong Opinions on Valentine's Day?
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Do you have strong opinions about Valentine’s Day? Do you enjoy it? Find it annoying? Feel pressure to make it romantic? Think it’s sweet? Get depressed about it?
I realized the other day that I hardly associate the holiday with romance. When I think about Valentine’s Day, or picture it, the first thing to come to mind is memories of making classroom valentines with my kids, or maybe ideas for simple gifts Ben Blair and I could give the kids. I sort of think of it the same way I think of Halloween (though Halloween usually requires much more effort from me): It’s a fun day for the kids, a sort of micro-holiday.
Because of that, I don’t have any particular stress around Valentine’s Day. But I wonder if I would feel differently about the day if I didn’t have a Ben Blair in my life. Would the day take on more significance if I didn’t have easy access to a romantic relationship? Would I dread it? Would I celebrate Galentine’s Day?
While it’s true we keep Valentine's Day very simple, we do have one tradition: Valentine's Day Breakfast. I first wrote about this in 2007, and we've kept the tradition for so many years! If it's a school day, we might get up early. If it's the weekend, we sleep in and have more of a brunch. If breakfast just isn’t working out that year, we’ve also done this as an after-school-snack.
If I can, I like to set the table the evening before: Red tablecloth, heart confetti, the nicest dishes and stemware we have, cloth napkins, that sort of thing. I don’t buy anything — just use what we have on hand. So if I forget about it, and end up setting the table late at night, or at the last minute, that’s no problem. The menu changes depending on what we’re in the mood for that year. It might be French Toast with fresh strawberries and whip cream — or it might be toaster waffles if we don't have much time on a busy school day. And to drink? We always make raspberry milk.
I have no memory of how or when the raspberry milk tradition started, but for some reason, we always make it on Valentine’s Day, and we only make it on Valentine's Day.
Before the kids get up in the morning, I like to put a small gift on their plate. And I mean small. When they were little, it would be a box of character-bandaids. Later, it might be a favorite candy bar. These days, it might be some inexpensive jewelry or an enamel pink for their denim jacket — or maybe something from the dollar section.
And that’s it — breakfast is pretty much the whole sum of our Valentine focused celebrations. That’s especially true of our life in France, where classroom valentine exchanges are not a thing.
How about you? Do you have any Valentine's Day traditions? Do you do everything up in a big way? Lots of decorations? Homemade Valentines? A romantic dinner with your partner? Or is it pretty low-key at your house?
Here Are A Few Things I’ve Wanted To Share
-The death toll from the earthquake in Turkey and Syria isover 20,000 people, and the number is expected to still climb. The largest immigrant community in our little town here in France is Turkish, and some of our closest friends here are Turkish. The stories we are hearing feel so close and immediate. The devastation and loss of life feels unfathomable and the need for aid is urgent. For donations and support, here is a list of reputable organizations.
-Also, Turkish Consulates are collecting either mail-in or in-person donations for supplies like: blankets, tents, pocket warmers, sleeping bags, over-the-counter medications (cold, flu and over-the-counter painkillers), and winter clothing such as jackets, gloves and headgear.
-Sending Help Instead of the Police in Albuquerque. We need to keep re-imagining our communities with alternatives to policing. Behavioral-health workers with Albuquerque Community Safety, a new city department, respond to calls, mostly from 911, about nonviolent crises involving mental health, homelessness, or substance use.
-If you like the idea of repairing your clothes and keeping them forever, here’s a helpful directory for clothing and shoe repair — hole patching, reweaving, stain removal, leather restorations, etc.. It feels good to repair an old piece of clothing and give it a new life. (Remember when we found a traditional worker’s jacket in the house we are restoring? I repaired it and now wear it all the time!)
-The mounting, undeniable Me Too backlash. According to a 2022 study, 62% of young Republican men say feminism is a net negative for society, and 46% of young Democratic men agree. (Less than a quarter of young Democratic women agree with that statement.)
-I’ve been thinking about the idea that homophobia and transphobia boil down to hating women. This tweet sums it up well. I might write on essay on it.
-Thank you for the amazing response to the Ejaculate Responsibly Book Tour! I’m so excited to meet you in New York, DC, Boston, San Francisco, and LA. These events and conversations will be so good. And I just updated the post with a San Francisco event link so you can get your tickets!
Lately On Design Mom
Yes, Valentine’s Day is simple at our house, but if you’re in the mood to celebrate, here are some good ideas.
Three Valentine’s Day Mocktail Recipes
These were created by Lindsey of Café Johnsonia and they are so good! There’s a recipe for Raspberry Pomegranate Floats, Chocolate Strawberry Egg Creams, and Blood Orange Ginger Mojitos.
Alphabet Wraps for Chocolates
These wraps are free to print and you can spell out all the sweet or silly messages you’d like. Leave a message on someone’s pillow. Or put the wrapped chocolates in a bag and let them sort the letters to discover your message. Fun for Valentine’s Day or for any day.
10 Great Valentine’s Day Books
I asked award-winning children’s book author, Carter Higgins, for her top ten recommendations, and they are terrific! Click through to find all ten. And whether you have kids or not, if you don’t have I Like You in your book collection, today is a great day to pick up a copy. I first learned about it from my roommate when I was a freshman in college, and it remains a favorite (and it’s good all year round).
Animal Track Valentines
Another free printable option. Check your craft store for a bargain pack of stamps — anything with footprints will work.
That’s all for now. I hope you have such a good weekend. Feel free to comment on anything I mentioned above, or whatever’s on your mind.
kisses,
Gabrielle
Also, I hope you DO write an essay on the me-too backlash! These men need to wake up to the fact that women are fully human, and have the same agency as they do. This includes transgender people as well.
Not really strong opinions but I think Valentine’s Day is one of those holidays that hurts more people than it celebrates - reinforcing the message that if you don’t have a partner there’s something wrong with you. I liked it as a kids' holiday, making homemade Valentines with the boys for (all) the kids in their classes when they were small. As a happily married adult, it doesn’t seem necessary for me (our wedding anniversary is a more appropriate celebration). We were at the Lindt store yesterday and we each picked something for the other one to give us, but that was more because we happened to be in a chocolate store than for any other reason! I think because I have in the past two years lost two relatives who were single and very lonely, I'm more aware of how holidays can affect those left out - just like Mother’s Day will forever be a heartbreaking day for me because I'm only going to be hearing from one of my boys for the rest of my life.