In this newsletter: The three names my parents considered for me, the three names Ben Blair and I considered for our daughter Maude, and what to do if you're stressed out or worried about picking the "wrong" name.
I was able to give the two kitties I adopted last year new names, as they never got any at the shelter I got them from. I’ve always loved the name Moses for a boy and Madelief (Dutch for Daisy) for a girl. I’m 34 and have no plans to become parent to any humans, but this little brother-sister duo truly felt like my babies from the moment I saw their picture. So now they are called Moos and Mimi. And they both really, really ARE their names and that makes me super proud ❤️✨
My girl was intended to be Gabrielle, nicknamed Gaily, but I ended up as an early adopter (1979) of Hayley. And now I ask does she suit her name or does her name suit her?
I’m a Hayley born in 1982 - there weren’t very many of me. I think I hated it as a kid but as an adult, I’m appreciate it more. Especially now that everyone spells Hayley all kinds of different ways!
I was going to be Alexandra, Alexandria, or Alexis then my parents settled on Alexa only. I love it and didn't meet another Alexa until college (it's more popular now). My only frustration growing up was that I was constantly called Alexis or Alexia by teachers and other adults. Like where are these extra I's coming from!?!?
So funny/irritating when people add extra vowels or syllables — I don't know why we do it, but I'm sure I've done it to someone's name before. Maybe we're just instinctively searching for a sound that feels more familiar in our mouths.
My given name is Jennie Hildegard. Hildegard is my mother's name and my grandmother's name and it's such an outlandish name that I both loved it and was a little afraid of it. I hated the name Jennie growing up because there were always SEVERAL in every class I had. In my high school there was another girl with my same first and last name (same spelling, even).Things were confusing.
As I got older and started blogging, I realized at blogging conferences that there were still too many Jen/Jenny/Jennifers and I needed to differentiate myself. So I decided to go by a derivative of my middle name: Hildie. I really loved it! I was the ONLY one. Eventually I just started going by Hildie in real life which most people thought was weird, but I didn't care. Jennie was always some random, common name that my parents picked, but Hildie/Hildegard meant so much to me, being a family name as it was. I got a lot of crap for wanting to go by a different name, so if you want to do that as an adult, you have to be pretty intrepid. I legally swapped my first and middle name last year so it's official. Not only do I not regret it, I wish I'd done it decades ago!
As for kids, I wanted to give them the gift of different, but not weird or made up names. It's hard! My kids are India, York, Finn, Arabella, Adelaide and Jasper. Some names, like Finn, were totally off the radar when we pick it but it's gotten mega popular. I always studied the top 1000 names from the SSA and wouldn't pick anything about #300 in popularity. But sometimes things come along and just ruin everything. My Arabella liked going by Bella until Twilight came out. Then she insisted on being called Arabella so people wouldn't associate her with that.
My grandmother was Hilda...but she swore she would curse anyone who named a child after her. I almost chose Hildegarde - with the intention of calling her Hilde. Once I realized that I would always use a nickname, I decided to just name her Hilde!! My son is Wyatt - also a really unique name at the time...but quite popular now.
My husband and I have both recently admitted we have name regret with our oldest. Her name is a combo of my mother’s middle name and my MIL’s middle name, so in effect a made up name. There are other people named this in the world, so it’s not like crazy off the wall. But, we made the mistake of mentioning this name thought when pregnant and since this was the first grandchild, both grandmas latched onto it, we were young and just went with it. 13 years later, after many mispronunciations and misspellings, we just wish it was different. She knows it too, but she’s fine with her name so I guess at the end of the day, that’s all that matters.
I was named Virginia, after my dads sister. My family called me Ginny Anne, which turned into the nickname Nin aka Ninny Jan. I went by Ginny at school. I didn’t change my last name when I got married - I had a daughter and my husband had two sons, and my daughter said that their last name was a boy name. I couldn’t disagree. I changed it after 15 years of marriage, once my daughter was off on her own. I think it was the right move, but sometimes I wonder. At my job, I was called either Ginny or Virginia, depending on who told the person my name. We used our initials a lot, so I was also called VA and once “va va voom”. That one was squashed by me. Friends sometimes call me Gin or Ginya.
I named my daughter Ali Jeanne, with the Jeanne being in honor of my sister Jeanne. The name Ali came from a co-worker’s suggestion when I was trying to come up with a first name to go with Jeanne. I don’t remember how I came up with that spelling - Ali McGraw? - but I can’t help thinking it has defined her life in some way.
Two of our pets came pre-named from rescue organizations. One was a nameless rescue puppy who my daughter named Diana after the princess. After a week or two of living with us, each of them told us their middle name - one day I would heat it when I looked at them. Our last dog told Ali her middle name, and frankly I was miffed. I guess I passed on the magic hearing to her.
We liked the idea of classic more old-fashioned names and named our first daughter Charlotte and our second Abigail. Once she was in kindergarten she started requesting everyone call her Abby and she detests the name Abigail. The only person who calls her Abigail is he 91 year old (not super fun to be around) grandmother who says it in kind of mean spite-ful way. I've told her she could change her name to Abby and we would even help her. She's always been a super confident, happy, no hesitation kind of kid so as she heads into her teen years I don't see her changing her mind. Oh, in the same vain, I've always been incredibly impressed with her ability to block negative people. We allow her to be on snapchat and she has NO ISSUES blocking anyone who is remotely negative. I'm a people pleaser (to a fault) and find the younger teen/tweens ability to block the people who bring negative energy into your world refreshing!
I feel like I used up all of my naming skills on my kid; other than her, I think I’m pretty bad at naming things! Our cats all kept the names they’d been given at the shelter, and I always struggled with naming my knit designs when I wrote them up to sell patterns. But back when I was in high school, I played my violin at a lot of Renaissance Fairs and also was learning about early music, and across those contexts, kept coming across the word “Madrigal”, and thought to myself: “that would be such a pretty girl’s name…if I ever have a daughter, that’s what I want to name her.” I figured my future partner probably wouldn’t like it, but it turned out he did! We had a much harder time coming up with boy names, and never found one we were that happy with. But luckily we didn’t need one!
Funny story: when I told my parents what we’d named our baby, the first thing my mom said was, “well, at least she has a normal nickname!” (That being “Maddy”). I think they’ve come around on loving her name though. We also got lucky…our Madrigal is a very musically-inclined kid, just like her mama. It would’ve been pretty ironic if she’d turned out to be tone-deaf!
I've always loved my name- Elisabeth Hope. I go by Beth in almost all circles, but like both versions (I actually think I like Elisabeth more...but I don't mind Beth). I also love the spelling of my name- it's a traditional name, but the spelling is unusual in the USA. My parents actually chose the spelling because they thought they might call me Elisa, but they ended up calling me Beth. In 4th grade, I decided I wanted to go by Elisabeth. My teacher and a friend who moved into our school that year were the only ones that actually called me that, and both still do to this day. My sister, however, has always hated her name- Heather Liz. She was born in the mid-90s and thinks Heather is a very 80s name, doesn't think her name is professional (which I have to admit, I don't understand at all...like what are "professional" names??), and feels like her middle name is just a repeat of my first name.
I don't have kids yet, but, as a teacher, there are many names that are off the table. I think it'll be very difficult for me to pick names, because so many names conjure up certain feelings, and I wouldn't want students/parents to think I'm naming my child after one of my students! I also want any names I choose to be easily pronounceable in other countries (I lived in Eastern Europe for 2 years and still have strong ties there, and want my "people" there to be able to pronounce them!).
I was born in Germany and my parents named me Cordula, a not very typical name—even in Germany. When I was in primary school we moved to Louisiana and I spent many first days of school correcting teachers. Everyone wants to say Cardooooola. But it’s Car-duh-la, more like Pamela. I’ve loved my name. Memorable, different, and a celebration of my German heritage. My middle name is Mae….which is also my mom’s middle name. A celebration of my southern heritage. When we named our kids I wanted “different” but not as different as Cordula. And I want them to be able to have nicknames…something I always wanted. We ended up with Magdalene (Maggie), Evangeline (Lena), and Wyatt. Their names fit them and sound good together!
My name is Ursula -- after my great grandmother. It feels right for me -- one of those names that people have heard before but it isn't common. As a child, I was Ursie to my friends and that nickname continues with close friends but in the rest of my adult life I am Ursula.
Thanks, Gabrielle. In my case, I am named after someone who was German, but I think you see versions of it all over Europe and then, of course, there's Ursula Andress who was Swiss (I think).
I got my Grandmothers' middle names: Marion and Catherine, and I wished I'd gotten their first names: Agnes and Ella. Marion was the name of one of my aunts and also the school secretary; it felt like an old lady's name and I never liked it. When I read Anne of Green Gables at 14 years old, I wanted an E on my name, just like she fought for, and changed my spelling to Mariane, although I didn't want to change the pronunciation. Inadvertent outcome: I now get called Mary Anne all the time, but I prefer that to the old-lady O, even though I'm now in my 50s, which is likely older than my aunt and Mrs. MacArthur at the time I objected to sharing their spelling.
My parents named me Michelle, but called me Chelly when I was little. When I started a new school, I told my mom I wanted to go by Michelle. She talked me out of it (twice, at two new schools!) and convinced me to go by Chel, the nickname of the family friend they had named me after. My guess is that she wanted me to stand out, while I was young and insecure and desperate to fit in. As an adult, I finally went by Michelle, and it’s a far better fit for me.
I'm always jealous of people who know their name story. My mother died when I was 5 & was sick for a few years before, so I never got the story from her. The mention of my mother threw my father (who has also passed away) into a sad silence & he never really talked abouther much. The unusual spelling of my first name has always made me curious. It's Sheri Hope.
So when it came time to name my own children I made sure they knew where their names came from & why. Btw, my daughter is Audrey Elizabeth, named after my mother.
I love names so much, I’ve kept baby name lists since I was 12 or so. I haven’t had kids but I’ve named my two dogs: Nora and Annie. I love human names for animals, I’ve already picked out a name for my next dog: Daphne.
If I ever have kids I have a few names that I love: Felicity, with Fee as a nickname, Martha, and Edith. I find boys names much harder but I’m loving Walter and Alfie these days. I recently found a name list from when I was 16 - I was obsessed with the name Hero from Much Ado About Nothing. Ha! (I like Beatrice much better these days!)
I’m Hannah and I love my name. I’ve always felt like it suited me. I was born in 90 and though Hannah is fairly common, I’m so glad my parents didn’t name me Ashley or Brittany.
I feel that all 3 of my son's names fit very well. I have sadness that my girls names were never gifted to their recipients due to miscarriage.( As well as lots of other sadness regarding their loss) I haven't ever liked my name (Rachel) or felt like it fits me at all. I've tried to adopt nicknames, but they never stick. As an artist, it's important to me to be open to grabbing the right name/title as it swirls by in the chaos. It helps ground my idea and fully form it as I create.
Such a challenge to have a name that doesn't feel like it fits. I personally love the name Rachel (it's my sister's name), but if it doesn't fit, it doesn't fit. I totally get that.
I was able to give the two kitties I adopted last year new names, as they never got any at the shelter I got them from. I’ve always loved the name Moses for a boy and Madelief (Dutch for Daisy) for a girl. I’m 34 and have no plans to become parent to any humans, but this little brother-sister duo truly felt like my babies from the moment I saw their picture. So now they are called Moos and Mimi. And they both really, really ARE their names and that makes me super proud ❤️✨
Moos and Mimi! Perfect. And so adorable.
My girl was intended to be Gabrielle, nicknamed Gaily, but I ended up as an early adopter (1979) of Hayley. And now I ask does she suit her name or does her name suit her?
I’m a Hayley born in 1982 - there weren’t very many of me. I think I hated it as a kid but as an adult, I’m appreciate it more. Especially now that everyone spells Hayley all kinds of different ways!
Oh my goodness, I've never heard the nickname Gaily (for Gabrielle, or for any other name), and I'm so glad to know about it.
I was going to be Alexandra, Alexandria, or Alexis then my parents settled on Alexa only. I love it and didn't meet another Alexa until college (it's more popular now). My only frustration growing up was that I was constantly called Alexis or Alexia by teachers and other adults. Like where are these extra I's coming from!?!?
So funny/irritating when people add extra vowels or syllables — I don't know why we do it, but I'm sure I've done it to someone's name before. Maybe we're just instinctively searching for a sound that feels more familiar in our mouths.
My given name is Jennie Hildegard. Hildegard is my mother's name and my grandmother's name and it's such an outlandish name that I both loved it and was a little afraid of it. I hated the name Jennie growing up because there were always SEVERAL in every class I had. In my high school there was another girl with my same first and last name (same spelling, even).Things were confusing.
As I got older and started blogging, I realized at blogging conferences that there were still too many Jen/Jenny/Jennifers and I needed to differentiate myself. So I decided to go by a derivative of my middle name: Hildie. I really loved it! I was the ONLY one. Eventually I just started going by Hildie in real life which most people thought was weird, but I didn't care. Jennie was always some random, common name that my parents picked, but Hildie/Hildegard meant so much to me, being a family name as it was. I got a lot of crap for wanting to go by a different name, so if you want to do that as an adult, you have to be pretty intrepid. I legally swapped my first and middle name last year so it's official. Not only do I not regret it, I wish I'd done it decades ago!
As for kids, I wanted to give them the gift of different, but not weird or made up names. It's hard! My kids are India, York, Finn, Arabella, Adelaide and Jasper. Some names, like Finn, were totally off the radar when we pick it but it's gotten mega popular. I always studied the top 1000 names from the SSA and wouldn't pick anything about #300 in popularity. But sometimes things come along and just ruin everything. My Arabella liked going by Bella until Twilight came out. Then she insisted on being called Arabella so people wouldn't associate her with that.
My grandmother was Hilda...but she swore she would curse anyone who named a child after her. I almost chose Hildegarde - with the intention of calling her Hilde. Once I realized that I would always use a nickname, I decided to just name her Hilde!! My son is Wyatt - also a really unique name at the time...but quite popular now.
I had no idea Wyatt had become a popular name. I'm a decade out of the loop. I should look up the latest popular name lists.
Well he's 26 now - but he was the only Wyatt we knew for YEARS!! And people would always ask..."Ryan??"....no Wyatt. Like Wyatt Earp!
I'm so happy for you that you made the official switch to a name you love. Hildie is such a great name!
She's Hilde with no extra I...but she loves her name and so do I!!
My husband and I have both recently admitted we have name regret with our oldest. Her name is a combo of my mother’s middle name and my MIL’s middle name, so in effect a made up name. There are other people named this in the world, so it’s not like crazy off the wall. But, we made the mistake of mentioning this name thought when pregnant and since this was the first grandchild, both grandmas latched onto it, we were young and just went with it. 13 years later, after many mispronunciations and misspellings, we just wish it was different. She knows it too, but she’s fine with her name so I guess at the end of the day, that’s all that matters.
Family pressure to use (or not use) certain names is so hard.
I have a lot of naming stories.
I was named Virginia, after my dads sister. My family called me Ginny Anne, which turned into the nickname Nin aka Ninny Jan. I went by Ginny at school. I didn’t change my last name when I got married - I had a daughter and my husband had two sons, and my daughter said that their last name was a boy name. I couldn’t disagree. I changed it after 15 years of marriage, once my daughter was off on her own. I think it was the right move, but sometimes I wonder. At my job, I was called either Ginny or Virginia, depending on who told the person my name. We used our initials a lot, so I was also called VA and once “va va voom”. That one was squashed by me. Friends sometimes call me Gin or Ginya.
I named my daughter Ali Jeanne, with the Jeanne being in honor of my sister Jeanne. The name Ali came from a co-worker’s suggestion when I was trying to come up with a first name to go with Jeanne. I don’t remember how I came up with that spelling - Ali McGraw? - but I can’t help thinking it has defined her life in some way.
Two of our pets came pre-named from rescue organizations. One was a nameless rescue puppy who my daughter named Diana after the princess. After a week or two of living with us, each of them told us their middle name - one day I would heat it when I looked at them. Our last dog told Ali her middle name, and frankly I was miffed. I guess I passed on the magic hearing to her.
The end.
I love that your pets communicated their names to you. That's wonderful.
We liked the idea of classic more old-fashioned names and named our first daughter Charlotte and our second Abigail. Once she was in kindergarten she started requesting everyone call her Abby and she detests the name Abigail. The only person who calls her Abigail is he 91 year old (not super fun to be around) grandmother who says it in kind of mean spite-ful way. I've told her she could change her name to Abby and we would even help her. She's always been a super confident, happy, no hesitation kind of kid so as she heads into her teen years I don't see her changing her mind. Oh, in the same vain, I've always been incredibly impressed with her ability to block negative people. We allow her to be on snapchat and she has NO ISSUES blocking anyone who is remotely negative. I'm a people pleaser (to a fault) and find the younger teen/tweens ability to block the people who bring negative energy into your world refreshing!
So great that she's known who she is from an early age.
I feel like I used up all of my naming skills on my kid; other than her, I think I’m pretty bad at naming things! Our cats all kept the names they’d been given at the shelter, and I always struggled with naming my knit designs when I wrote them up to sell patterns. But back when I was in high school, I played my violin at a lot of Renaissance Fairs and also was learning about early music, and across those contexts, kept coming across the word “Madrigal”, and thought to myself: “that would be such a pretty girl’s name…if I ever have a daughter, that’s what I want to name her.” I figured my future partner probably wouldn’t like it, but it turned out he did! We had a much harder time coming up with boy names, and never found one we were that happy with. But luckily we didn’t need one!
Funny story: when I told my parents what we’d named our baby, the first thing my mom said was, “well, at least she has a normal nickname!” (That being “Maddy”). I think they’ve come around on loving her name though. We also got lucky…our Madrigal is a very musically-inclined kid, just like her mama. It would’ve been pretty ironic if she’d turned out to be tone-deaf!
Madrigal is such a lovely name!
I've always loved my name- Elisabeth Hope. I go by Beth in almost all circles, but like both versions (I actually think I like Elisabeth more...but I don't mind Beth). I also love the spelling of my name- it's a traditional name, but the spelling is unusual in the USA. My parents actually chose the spelling because they thought they might call me Elisa, but they ended up calling me Beth. In 4th grade, I decided I wanted to go by Elisabeth. My teacher and a friend who moved into our school that year were the only ones that actually called me that, and both still do to this day. My sister, however, has always hated her name- Heather Liz. She was born in the mid-90s and thinks Heather is a very 80s name, doesn't think her name is professional (which I have to admit, I don't understand at all...like what are "professional" names??), and feels like her middle name is just a repeat of my first name.
I don't have kids yet, but, as a teacher, there are many names that are off the table. I think it'll be very difficult for me to pick names, because so many names conjure up certain feelings, and I wouldn't want students/parents to think I'm naming my child after one of my students! I also want any names I choose to be easily pronounceable in other countries (I lived in Eastern Europe for 2 years and still have strong ties there, and want my "people" there to be able to pronounce them!).
Trying to find names that are pronounceable in two different languages/cultures is tricky!
I was born in Germany and my parents named me Cordula, a not very typical name—even in Germany. When I was in primary school we moved to Louisiana and I spent many first days of school correcting teachers. Everyone wants to say Cardooooola. But it’s Car-duh-la, more like Pamela. I’ve loved my name. Memorable, different, and a celebration of my German heritage. My middle name is Mae….which is also my mom’s middle name. A celebration of my southern heritage. When we named our kids I wanted “different” but not as different as Cordula. And I want them to be able to have nicknames…something I always wanted. We ended up with Magdalene (Maggie), Evangeline (Lena), and Wyatt. Their names fit them and sound good together!
I think you are the first Cordula I've "met".
My name is Ursula -- after my great grandmother. It feels right for me -- one of those names that people have heard before but it isn't common. As a child, I was Ursie to my friends and that nickname continues with close friends but in the rest of my adult life I am Ursula.
I love the name Ursula. Is it German? I'm trying to remember why I associate it with Germany.
Thanks, Gabrielle. In my case, I am named after someone who was German, but I think you see versions of it all over Europe and then, of course, there's Ursula Andress who was Swiss (I think).
I got my Grandmothers' middle names: Marion and Catherine, and I wished I'd gotten their first names: Agnes and Ella. Marion was the name of one of my aunts and also the school secretary; it felt like an old lady's name and I never liked it. When I read Anne of Green Gables at 14 years old, I wanted an E on my name, just like she fought for, and changed my spelling to Mariane, although I didn't want to change the pronunciation. Inadvertent outcome: I now get called Mary Anne all the time, but I prefer that to the old-lady O, even though I'm now in my 50s, which is likely older than my aunt and Mrs. MacArthur at the time I objected to sharing their spelling.
How cool that you changed the spelling!
My parents named me Michelle, but called me Chelly when I was little. When I started a new school, I told my mom I wanted to go by Michelle. She talked me out of it (twice, at two new schools!) and convinced me to go by Chel, the nickname of the family friend they had named me after. My guess is that she wanted me to stand out, while I was young and insecure and desperate to fit in. As an adult, I finally went by Michelle, and it’s a far better fit for me.
I'm glad you were able to use the name you preferred.
I'm always jealous of people who know their name story. My mother died when I was 5 & was sick for a few years before, so I never got the story from her. The mention of my mother threw my father (who has also passed away) into a sad silence & he never really talked abouther much. The unusual spelling of my first name has always made me curious. It's Sheri Hope.
So when it came time to name my own children I made sure they knew where their names came from & why. Btw, my daughter is Audrey Elizabeth, named after my mother.
I'm so sorry you never got the chance to learn your name story.
I love names so much, I’ve kept baby name lists since I was 12 or so. I haven’t had kids but I’ve named my two dogs: Nora and Annie. I love human names for animals, I’ve already picked out a name for my next dog: Daphne.
If I ever have kids I have a few names that I love: Felicity, with Fee as a nickname, Martha, and Edith. I find boys names much harder but I’m loving Walter and Alfie these days. I recently found a name list from when I was 16 - I was obsessed with the name Hero from Much Ado About Nothing. Ha! (I like Beatrice much better these days!)
I’m Hannah and I love my name. I’ve always felt like it suited me. I was born in 90 and though Hannah is fairly common, I’m so glad my parents didn’t name me Ashley or Brittany.
I love human names for animals too.
I feel that all 3 of my son's names fit very well. I have sadness that my girls names were never gifted to their recipients due to miscarriage.( As well as lots of other sadness regarding their loss) I haven't ever liked my name (Rachel) or felt like it fits me at all. I've tried to adopt nicknames, but they never stick. As an artist, it's important to me to be open to grabbing the right name/title as it swirls by in the chaos. It helps ground my idea and fully form it as I create.
Such a challenge to have a name that doesn't feel like it fits. I personally love the name Rachel (it's my sister's name), but if it doesn't fit, it doesn't fit. I totally get that.