The Real Costs of Breastfeeding
Hi, I’m Gabrielle Blair and this is my newsletter. It’s completely free to access and read, but if you feel so moved to support my work, please consider a paid newsletter subscription: just $5/month or save money with the $50/annual sub. You can also go way above and beyond by becoming a Founding Member at $75. Or, some of you have let me know you’d rather send money directly via Paypal and Venmo (@gabrielle-blair). Thank you! Seriously, thank you. Support from readers keeps this newsletter ad and sponsor-free.
Hey there, how are you? As usual, because of heavy news headlines, I’m having the hardest time concentrating. You too? I’ve been trying to take social media breaks and spend more time outside. Basically all I want to do is work in the garden. I think our little yard is just the right size for me to mess around in. Over the weekend, Flora June helped me plant jasmine to grow up our wall, and a bunch of summer bulbs. We’re supposed to have some rain this week and I can’t wait to see things blooming.
Some happy things happening at our house:
-Flora June (6th grader) is about to get braces. All of our kids have had braces (or Invisalign) so this feels like a milestone.
-Betty (a sophomore in high school) is in Spain with a school exchange program — we hosted a Spanish student a few weeks ago, and now it’s Betty’s turn to stay at his house. She’s speaking lots of Spanish, and we love hearing reports from her.
-Oscar (a junior in high school) has published the first 4 episodes of season two of his podcast, Existential Teenager. You can find it on Apple Podcasts or Spotify. I’m loving season two. The episodes are short, but packed full of info, and fun to discuss.
-Olive (in her second year of film school in Paris), is at the Cannes Film Festival this week with a Student Pass. She just picked up the pass today and we’re excited to hear what this adventure is like.
-Maude (college graduate living in North Carolina) is coming to France! She has a two week work break coming up next month and we can’t wait to see her.
-Ralph just finished his junior year at Berkeley with flying colors. Two more semesters to go! He is making summer plans and we’re trying to figure out if we’ll get to see him.
A Few Things I’ve Wanted to Share With You
-Because of the formula shortage, there’s a lot of talk happening right now about breastfeeding . Some people seem to think breastfeeding is free, but I’ve put in more breastfeeding hours than like 90% of the population and can assure you it’s not. I appreciated this illustrated guide about the costs of breastfeeding on Vox. To be clear, beyond the costs, there are very good reasons why people choose not to breastfeed, or physically can not breastfeed, and I want to make sure you know that however you manage to feed your baby, I think you’re doing a great job.
-I’ve heard the myth (and thought it was true) that the anti-abortion movement was launched by segregationists in the 1970s. This article in the Washington post, written by two historians, paints a different picture and describes how organizing against abortion was happening among Catholic and Evangelical groups for at least two decades before the 1970s.
-This is momentous. Researchers have pinpointed a potential marker of why babies die from SIDs. It’s not the parents’ fault. I hope this is some relief for so many heartbroken families.
-After seeing crypto-currencies crash a few days ago, are you still curious about Web3? I maintain that it’s here to stay, and though I have no money invested in crypto, I think it will bounce back again — if for no other reason than we have a history of rich men bailing out other rich men. This new article in Wired (that came out just before the crash) does a good job of exploring what’s happening in the Web3 world and the problems inherent in the system.
-A list of 9 things women couldn’t do before 1971, fact-checked by USA Today.
-I’ve been tweeting more frequently lately.
Recent Press
With headlines about abortion happening daily, my thread has also been making the news. Here are three recent press mentions:
-An interview with me on Today.com.
-An interview with me in The Press Democrat.
-Orlando Weekly published my thread in full.
Lately on Design Mom
-Mini Baked Cherry Crisps
I love this because you can use lots of different fruit, and because it’s a mini recipe and just makes two servings, which somehow feels more special.
-How to Etch Soap Bottles with a Monogram
Once you realize how easy etching is, you’ll be etching every piece of glassware in your house.
- Teriyaki Pulled Pork Bowls with Lime Juice Coleslaw and Coconut Rice
You can make these in the crockpot so that your kitchen doesn’t get too hot.
That’s all for now. Feel free to comment on anything I mentioned above, or whatever’s on your mind. I hope you’re having a really good week.
kisses,
Gabrielle
I felt so seen reading the graphic story about the cost of breastfeeding. My youngest is almost 9 so it's been a while for me but it did bring back a lot of memories of the immense amount of TIME I spent breastfeeding, especially in those early months, along with the toll it took on my sleep and overall health. The extra food, the supplies, the mastitis. It really was the equivalent of a full-time job for a few months after I had each of my children. I wish I had read something like this when I first became a mother - I'm glad new moms today that choose to/are able to breastfeed perhaps feel more validated than I did about all the various costs of breastfeeding. On the flip side, I used formula for my third child after experiencing health issues that drastically decreased my milk supply and my heart breaks for all the moms out there trying to find formula for their babies right now.
Yes to this info on breastfeeding! I am on month 22 of breastfeeding my daughter and I (most of the time) love it AND it is also hard and when she was little and nursing exclusively took a lot of time. Absolutely no one should feel bad about not being able to breastfeed or for simply not wanting to. Your baby will be fine no matter how you feed them.
I'd like to add, since it's not commonly talked about--dysphoric milk ejection reflex (https://www.healthline.com/health/breastfeeding/dysphoric-milk-ejection-reflex#definition) is a real thing and can cause some very intense negative feelings while breastfeeding.
It is a physiological occurrence caused (they think) by an intense drop in dopamine at let down (dopamine drops somewhat during the 'normal' letdown process as part of the flow of oxytocin, but with DMER is a more intense drop). Feelings usually last for 30 seconds or a minute or two just around let down and can range from mild sadness or irritation to intense self-loathing, anger, and even suicidal thoughts. So for anyone reading this who has experienced this, or who knows someone who mentions 'feeling weird' when breastfeeding--this is a real thing, you aren't crazy, and it is completely ok to prioritize your own mental health and stop nursing if you want to! I also found that just knowing what was happening to me helped me to manage it--so hopefully this info helps others.