Panic Attacks vs. Hot Flashes
First Up: Today marks one full week of school. You can see our first-day-of-school pics here. I am already missing our relaxed summer mornings, but having a regular schedule for our family is also good for my brain.
Second: There have been a few times in the last few months where I suddenly feel my heart racing, and I feel quite panic-y, for no obvious reason. I’ve wondered if it’s perhaps a random panic attack? (I’m very familiar with depression, but less so with anxiety, so not sure.) And then, I remembered this comment I read on Twitter about hot flashes:
Is it possible my heart-racing episodes are my version of hot flashes? Hmmm. Fascinating.
Just thinking about that is bringing up all sorts of frustrations. It is so discouraging how little we know about perimenopause and menopause. At least half of the people on the earth will experience these body-changes, which means I should be able to google ‘perimenopause’ and have SO MUCH INFORMATION.
We should know exactly what to expect. We should have so much research that we can easily recognize patterns, and know what sort of factors affect how a particular person will experience menopause. We should be able to confidently and accurately predict if an individual will experience hot flashes or heart racing; if that individual will have their last period in their 40s or 50s or some other decade entirely.
But there’s been so little research done on this — especially when you consider how many people have already been affected and how many people will be affected — that the whole thing still feels stubbornly mysterious and opaque. I know there are some excellent books out there (I’m particularly thinking of Dr. Jen Gunter’s Menopause Manifesto), but without decades of solid research, observations, and reporting, how much could we really know?
Instead, we’re given a shrug and told “it’s different for each person” and we’re just expected to go blindly through whatever is we’re experiencing. Urgh.
Book Updates!
As you may know, my book, Ejaculate Responsibly, comes out next month. So I’ll have lots of book updates this month:
1) Last Chance to join the Book Launch Group! It's totally free to join and lots of fun. The Book Launch Group is a private group and members get exclusive perks — weekly notes from me with behind-the-scenes info, discounts, a Zoom call just for group members, and the first look at book merch.
If you want to join the Book Launch Group (with 900 other awesome people who already signed up!), email me me your email address (designmom@designmom.com) and I'll send you an invite. I'm going to close down invitations this Friday (9/9), so if you want in, this is your last chance.
I've sent out a few notes to the Book Launch Group so far, including different color alternatives for the cover that we considered, and what it was like recording the audiobook. I hope you'll join the Book Launch Group! And feel free to tell your friends if you think they'd be interested.
Want more info about the Book Launch Group before you join? You can read about it in a newsletter from July.
2) I was on Talk Shop Live! Ben Blair interviewed me about the book and we answered questions from viewers and had a lot of fun. You can see the recording here, including all the comments in the chat — and pre-order an autographed copy of the book too.
3) Last week I wrote about wanting to measure the impact of the book, and you helped me send books to the Supreme Court! Here’s how many books have been sent to each Justice so far:
SO FANTASTIC! I can’t even explain how joyous it is to update the graphic with new numbers. And I just sent a book to Justices Sotomayor, Kagan, and Brown Jackson — I know they don’t need convincing, but I think they’ll really appreciate the arguments I make in the book.
It’s not too late to send a copy to SCOTUS if you still want to — read the details here. I’ll keep updating the graphic whenever I have new info.
And I’ll send out the next impact goal in another newsletter.
A Few Things I’ve Wanted to Share
-I was interviewed by Brecklyn Simmons for the Bread & Butter Podcast. I loved her questions! Brecklyn isn’t a parent, but she wants to be someday and we talked a lot about parenting.
-I absolutely devoured two new books from two wonderful friends:
Rebecca’s Woolf wrote a memoir called All of This about how two weeks after telling her husband she wanted a divorce, he was diagnosed with stage four pancreatic cancer, and then died Four months later, at age forty-four. It’s honest and uncomfortable and so very good.
Alison Faulkner of the Alison Show wrote a book called You’re Already Awesome. The book is vulnerable and super funny and covers twelve specific shifts we can make that will help us love who we are, and love the people in the world around us. It’s great!
-Why Fewer Bugs Are Splattering On Your Car Windshield Nowadays.
-My friend Amy Nelson, founder of The Riveter, pulled a major pandemic pivot. Read her story in Entrepreneur.
-The NYTimes published a new method for boiled eggs that peel easily and I want to try it this week. I feel like I’ve tried every method, but can’t find one that consistently works.
That’s all for now. Feel free to comment on anything I mentioned above, or whatever’s on your mind. I hope you had a good first week of September.
kisses,
Gabrielle
Hi, I’m Gabrielle Blair and this is my newsletter. It’s completely free to access and read, but if you feel so moved to support my work, please consider a paid newsletter subscription: just $5/month or save money with the $50/annual sub. You can also go way above and beyond by becoming a Founding Member at $75. Or, some of you have let me know you’d rather send money directly via Paypal and Venmo (@gabrielle-blair). Thank you! Seriously, thank you. Support from readers keeps this newsletter ad and sponsor-free.
Thank you for the reminder about hot flashes manifesting as panic attacks! A fun new development after turning 40 was PMS symptom of middle-of-the-night panic attacks. Starting to think they are just hot flashes…
Definitely wish there was more research and information about perimenopause and menopause.
I've been so frustrated recently by the total lack of knowledge about women's health. Two of my best friends (making up 50% of my close high school friend group) have PCOS. One of them had to go to 7 or 8 different doctors before finding one that actually listened to her problems and was able to diagnose it. Even then, it took her several more doctors before finding one that knew even a little bit about the condition. One doctor once made an off-hand comment along the lines of "well, maybe it's just your PCOS thing" when in reality it had nothing to do with that. I know at least two colleagues who experienced "premature menopause"- both began menopause well before they turned 40. And don't get me started on how IUDs are placed- doctors aren't supposed to give pain meds or use anesthetics- and from what I've heard from multiple people, the pain can be very, very severe.